Twogirlsnochill
Welcome to Two Girls, No Chill - The podcast with no plan, no filter, and honestly... No self-control.
This what happens when you give two chaotic besties a couple mics and let them say whatever they want. It's unfiltered, unpredictable, and just the right amount of messy.
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Twogirlsnochill
Am I the a**hole?!
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AITA for not uploading this episode exactly at 9am? You decide!
Welcome back to Two Girls, No Chill — the podcast with no chill, questionable opinions, and all the chaos.
This week, we’re diving into some wild AITA stories and deciding who’s actually in the wrong. Agree with us? Think our judgment is terrible? Tell us. 😂
Send us your favorite AITA stories so we can judge those too!
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There you go. This should be a lot easier now. I need a new chair. This one just I need a new chair. Makes too much noise. Why do you oh because you don't want to fall?
SPEAKER_03I don't want to fall. Or I want like a cozy chair. Think you might be falling. Yes. Even though like I hit my limit when I go back here. But I want like a cozy chair so I can like sit crisscross applesauce and have a blanket. That'd be so nice. It'd be vibey. Streams for the future. Kick my shoes off. Even though I always do.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03And then just like sit be cozy. Like one of the yes. I need a new comfort chair. They have the chair at Target. Because they're doing the whole dorm thing now. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I saw some and they're nice and fuzzy.
unknownI want one.
SPEAKER_03Okay, some, we'll get some. Oh, and then we'll never want to leave.
SPEAKER_00Seriously. I at least have time to come. Um, what do you call it? Edit. There we go. Do stuff. There we go. I'm not at work anymore. This is my work.
SPEAKER_03Okay, guys. Welcome back to Two Girls No Chill. I'm Chamel. I'm Sarah. And we are debating on who's an asshole or not. Debating. We're gonna read some Reddit stories today. Today's gonna be all about Reddit and Am I the Assholes and all that fun good stuff.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Very exciting because obviously it's it's a huge thing on socials nowadays of like reading out Am I the Asshole posts? Yes. Um and we love watching those.
SPEAKER_03I I'm a I'm a Reddit lurker. I never post, but I like to lurk around on Reddit and just look at all the drama and read all the drama, and it's great. I have the app. Don't don't really go on it. I do. I go down rabbit holes all the time. I'm like never on it. They have a new subreddit called Girl Dinner. I heard about that one. Oh my god. Heard about that one. You take a picture of your girl dinner and then you just post your drama and rant. Oh, they're so good. We need to do that. Maybe I'll do that one day.
SPEAKER_00We need to do that one. Might do that. Um I've got a coffee. I was gonna ask you. I was like, what are you drinking today? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Vanilla sweet cream cold brew with cold foam.
SPEAKER_03Just a little baby one. I have a big one. This is my iced latte. Iced blonde vanilla latte with a lot of modifications. I'm so sorry. Never tried that. Yeah. But blonde espresso, brown sugar, um, white mocha, and oat milk with caramel drizzle and cold foam, of course.
SPEAKER_00I should have gotten a different milk.
SPEAKER_01It's okay.
SPEAKER_00It's all good. It's all good. Sweet cream, cold brew.
SPEAKER_03It wouldn't be sweet cream, cold brew without a sweet cream. That is very true. That is very true. All right, so how you been? I'm good.
SPEAKER_00I'm good. Surprisingly, I'm good. Good. Um I don't know if it's a therapy. It might be. That'd be pretty cool. Yes. If it's already helping, but that's awesome if it is, if that's the case. Yeah, I haven't um done my anxious tendencies. Okay. Which is nice. Um, I think I can maybe start putting some lash extensions in. Okay. Okay.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, yeah, not too bad. Um, got a lot of laundry done and put away. Okay. Good.
SPEAKER_03Not just sitting there. Yeah. I mean, who doesn't? Who honestly, who doesn't? Make do laundry, and then the folding process is the most tedious process of it all.
SPEAKER_01I'm okay with the folding. It's just putting it away. Folding and putting it away.
SPEAKER_03That's it's a process. It is a process. It's like throwing it in the washer, like, yeah, whatever. Okay, it's clean, take it out, fold it up, and put it away. Leave it right there. Nobody ever does it in at the same time. Yeah, no.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_03There's probably some normal people, some psychotic people out there that actually they're the crazy ones. Yeah, they're there. Not us, not us dysfunctional people. No, no, no, no. The ones that are actually functional and well, that actually, you know, are the yeah. We take our time. Yeah, we like to take our time. We like to marinate in our laundry time.
SPEAKER_00Yep.
unknownYep.
SPEAKER_00I mean, it's fine, it gets done.
SPEAKER_03It does exactly at the end of the day, it gets done. Maybe not the end of that day, but today's done regardless.
SPEAKER_00Truly, there was so much. I still have two bags of clean laundry that I need to go through that are my clothes. We did the clear the kids' clothes and we got rid of a bunch of clothes. Yeah, I'm actually gonna sell my daughter's old clothes on vintage. You ever heard of vintage?
SPEAKER_03Yes, I that's how I got rid of all my old stuff. I had a Star Wars dress from uh when I worked at the music store. Uh I sold that. Yeah, I have to do it. I gotta do it because I was like, I'm just gonna a quick couple bucks. I think I sold it for like eight bucks. Yeah, this thing is old. I wore it once and I was like, fuck it, eight dollars. And they're like, yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00It's perfect. There's a lot of um um like pretty like not really used, like denim and stuff. She uses a lot of leggings. So denim, a lot of the denim I could be like under $3, $4.
SPEAKER_03I don't know how comfortable denim is for kids. Like at a smaller age, yeah. Because I've tried with Everly and she's just like, get these jeans off of me. I want my leggings. Which preach because get these jeans off of me because I want my leggings.
SPEAKER_04We're wearing that was really good. That was a really good hike. I can't breathe. That was a really good hike.
SPEAKER_03I could never. I could I tried, but you can't even tailbow. That was a good hike. But honestly, same.
SPEAKER_02Like I prefer leggings over jeans. I mean, I wear jeans to be presentable sometimes.
SPEAKER_03Sometimes or if I'm feeling like wearing my drip jeans, then I'll wear those. But yeah, honestly, I don't see how denim is comfortable for kids. It's not, yeah, it's not comfortable for anybody. No, it's not women. Some people like to sleep in their pants and their jeans. How? I don't understand. Please tell us how. Please.
SPEAKER_00I don't get it.
SPEAKER_03Please tell us how you do it because I can't. I cannot.
SPEAKER_00I don't get it. Um, but yeah, I'll probably sell some Lila's things. Actually, if you want to go through, you'll see if Everly wants anything. Oh, if you want to take anything for Everly first. Why not? Um, but yeah, that's been my last few days. Long driving. A lot of long draining. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01What about you? Um, sorry about my chair, guys.
SPEAKER_03I know it's very creaky. Like her bones. It's me in the chair form. Um, I've been good. Nothing super crazy. Um, I did get uh word that I can I have until October as a deadline to get a house. Oh, okay. Or everything is affected. Okay. That's so it's just good soon. But also, like, I have like two months to get everything situated, which if you know house buying is a pain in the ass, then you understand my pain right now. Um, but that was some good-ish news. Like I could still that is better news than what better news than what I had before. Yeah. Um, other than that, I've been chilling. I've been seeing a lot of wigs online lately, and it just makes me want to shave my head even more. Um, oh my god, I saw somebody shave their head, do a blonde buzz cut. Ooh, right? Right? Tell me that wouldn't look so good. Would I look good in a blonde buzz cut, guys? Because I want to shave my head off. Like I want my not my head, I want to shave my hair off. I love my hair, and I want my long hair because I miss my long hair, but at the same time, I just want to shave my head. So it's either one extreme or the other, right? And then I'd be seeing these really nice wigs, and I'm just like, oh, I really want one, but at the same time, I want no hair, but I want long hair. There's no there's no happy middle, there's no happy medium at all. So that's my dilemma as of lately. Other than that, working a lot, and that's about it, unfortunately. Nothing fun. Yeah, tomorrow will be fun. Tomorrow is gonna be fun, guys. We're gonna go see Spider-Man, Spider-Man, Spider-Man, and we're gonna watch it with those moving scenes, so it's gonna be a lot of fun. My first time, the D-Box, yes, those that's my first time going, so I'm excited, so excited to go see it. And we won't spoil anything when we record. We'll wait a little bit until things are out, and then we'll be like, oh my god, do you see this? By the time that episode would come out, honestly, that's true. By the time this episode comes out, it'll probably be a couple weeks. Yeah. Since uh since Spider-Man was released already, yeah, currently it was released a couple days ago. Um, but by the time you guys see this, it'll be released a couple weeks ago, most likely.
SPEAKER_00Like to keep you on your toes. Yeah, keep you guessing. Well, uh, I really hope you guys enjoyed uh paranormal week.
SPEAKER_03Yes, paranormal weeks. Oh my god, it was like almost like a month, almost a month long. Yeah, paranormal month. Yeah, because we did three weeks straight. It was so good though.
SPEAKER_00It was so good, so many good stories. So fun. Shout out Christina, yes, honestly. Um I'm sure she has more. I'm sure like we'll coordinate to have her on the pod one day. Yes, because for sure. My goodness. For sure. Also, my sister-in-law was like, you don't want to hear the stories I have, and I was like, Yes, yes, we do.
SPEAKER_02Yes, we do. Absolutely, absolutely I was like paranormal, paranormal, everything. Please, you don't want to hear the stories, yes. Yes, we do.
SPEAKER_00If you think we don't, it's because we do. We do, absolutely do. That means we do even more. Um October is coming.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I know. And it'll start September though. All October, yeah. All October long we'll be doing spooky stuff. And we'll record extra episodes and yeah, who knows?
SPEAKER_00Have maybe we'll surprise you with extra episodes. Yeah. In the month.
SPEAKER_01I'm not gonna say per week, but not per month. In the month, in the month of October. We have a lot going on. Yes, we know.
SPEAKER_02Well, if you get a house by October, I know that is true.
SPEAKER_01If I get a house by October, I'm gonna be doing a lot.
SPEAKER_02And I'll be helping.
SPEAKER_03There's gonna be a lot going on right now, not so much. Maybe in the future, yes, we'll have a lot going on.
SPEAKER_00Yes, all right. Well, you hope you found more stories than me.
SPEAKER_03Yes, I do.
SPEAKER_00So you can start.
SPEAKER_03Okay, let me pull up my all right, guys. Um fair warning, if you guys didn't watch part three of uh the paranormal um episode. I am dyslexic. I have uh I read really well, but I also have a hard time reading.
SPEAKER_02So bear with me. I'm gonna do the best that I absolutely can.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so I'm going to start with the one that I think is pretty juicy, at least from my perspective. Alright, here we go, guys. Alright, am I the asshole for taking away my daughter's bedroom and giving it to my son? Ooh. Off rip, what do you think?
SPEAKER_00Taking away my daughter's bedroom and giving it to my son. Sounds pretty bad. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03All right. I, male 32, have a daughter, Harper, female 14, from a previous relationship. I have full custody, and her mom is not involved in her life. Five years ago, I married my wife, Nina, female 31. We tried to have a child but couldn't. We went to the doctor and turned out I can't have any more kids due to some complications. We decided to use a sperm donor, and the result was a son, Mark, who was born a few months ago. The problem started when Nina got pregnant. Surprise, surprise. Harper wasn't happy about it. When Mark was born, things got worse. Before this, Harper and I used to spend two days a week together, just the two of us, without my wife. But after Mark was born, I couldn't do that anymore. I can't just leave my wife alone for two days a week with a newborn. And Harper has been very angry about it. I'm sorry. I'm just gonna keep reading. I'm gonna keep my comments to myself. Sorry to stuff. Okay, the main problem started three days ago. Nina and I decided to make a nursery for Mark instead of having him in our bedroom for multiple reasons. Our home has four bedrooms, two master bedrooms at one side and two bedrooms at the other side. One of the master rooms is ours, the other one is Harper's. It was very hard for Nina and I to go to the other side of the home multiple times at night when Mark wakes up, so I asked Harper to pack her stuff and go to one of the bedrooms so that we could give her room to Mark. At first, everything seemed alright. She said okay and went to her room and started packing. But less than an hour later, my brother showed up at our home asking for Harper. She had called him and asked him to take her. She came out of her room with her stuff and told me, you can give it to your son now. And I left and left with my brother. I told her she could only go for one night, but it has been three days, and she's not back and won't even talk to me. I'm receiving calls from my family calling me an asshole and other names. I don't trust their judgment. They're very clear, they very clearly favor Harper. She was the first grandchild in our family and everyone's favorite. Also, they are trying to accept Mark as my son, but I could see that they haven't been able to yet. So I decided to post here and get some unbiased opinions. Am I the asshole? Yes.
SPEAKER_00But also that was quick. Honestly, I agree, but go ahead. But also, it's kind of sad that the family's not like accepting the baby. Or from his perspective, I guess it doesn't seem so. Honestly, but take his judgment with a grain of salt. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah, if that's the case, that's really sad. Yeah. But you can't walk across a house.
SPEAKER_02How big is your house? And exactly.
SPEAKER_03I was like, is this a mansion that you can't just walk down the hall and go to the other room?
SPEAKER_00I mean, the only thing I can think of is if it's like I no, I mean, he doesn't say it's a different floor. Exactly. So if it's like ranch style and just really long, you can walk a hundred feet.
SPEAKER_02Exactly. That's not it's not that serious.
SPEAKER_00It's not if you also what sorry go ahead. What are the reasons why they can't have the big the newborn in their room with you? Exactly. That's what I was saying.
SPEAKER_03That was gonna that's what I was gonna bring up because when I had both my because with Skyler, I was alone with the other two, when I had them, I literally slept on the couch with a bassinet next to me because I physically could not climb the bed, honestly. I could not climb the bed, I just couldn't. Um so I physically slept on the couch and we ended up getting like a nice pull-up couch, which kind of resembles a bed but easier to climb onto. But I was with the baby in the bassinet for a good portion of the time because the baby would wake up multiple times a night, right? Which makes sense. What is the reason that you don't want your newborn to be in the room with you, right? While they're you know pretty much growing in a sense, and they need you like a lot within the first couple months, you're gonna be sleep deprived, as as always. Um, so there's I don't understand why why a they can't have the kid in the room, b, they can't walk a couple steps down the hall, and C, why does a baby need a master bedroom? Yeah, seriously, it's a nursery. Do you I've seen so many people uh empty out their closet, remove the doors, and make that into a nursery, which comes out so beautiful. And the baby is right there in the room with them, but it has like a little mini separate room. Like it's yeah, I don't understand why a baby needs the master.
SPEAKER_00And really, if you have two master bedrooms, your closet is probably big enough to accommodate like a crib or a bassinet or something. Exactly. And then make one of the other rooms your closet. Exactly.
SPEAKER_03You have you have an extra, you have two extra rooms, two extra rooms.
SPEAKER_00I don't get it. I just don't get it. Honestly, when you said that his brother went there, I was like, oh no, now he's gonna kick his daughter out of the other room. Yes, and let his brother stay.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and you'd be like, oh, sorry, Harper, you can't live in in this house at all because your uh your uncle is gonna be taking over the bedroom.
SPEAKER_00But like, I guess, I guess because she's the favorite, because she's the first grandchild. The uncle was like, Yeah, you can stay with me.
SPEAKER_03But she's also she's also 14. Teenagers and their bedrooms, it's like a sacred space. It's a big thing, it's their safe space. Yeah, it's like the second they decorate it and make it their own, and that's where they can go to just ignore the world and kind of like wind down because teenagers don't talk to their parents. Honestly, mine doesn't, they do from time to time, but like when they need an outlet that isn't an adult that is taking care of them or anything like that, or just a person in general, they go to their room so they can feel safe and just let loose. Yeah. To be able to take that from her and then just be like, Oh, sorry, I'm just gonna take this from you. You can go to one of the smaller rooms. This is gonna be for your brother now. Yeah, it's weird.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't like it.
SPEAKER_03Me either, and I don't like the fact that he can't um he can't spend time with her, like he doesn't at all now, yeah. Like at all, not even one day, not even one day, dude. A couple hours I was just gonna say a couple hours now for two days now instead of a full day. Like if you can't do a full day, do a couple hours every day. Like find her hobbies, find something that's fun for her to do, and just get that bond back because once you lose it and it's gone, that's it. It's very hard to build back. Like teenagers hold resentment really, really well. Um, we are gonna get into the comments. Top comment. You're the asshole. Surprise, surprise. You're showing your favorite, you're showing you favor your son. I'm a mom of three. I manage to individually spend time every single day with all three of my kids, even if we don't leave home. My youngest is six days old. If you love them, you make time for them. Plus, you kicked her out of her own room for your own convenience. Mm-hmm. There's another one. OP, I hope you get to see this. And I know I am late to this post. This was posted four years ago, by the way. You're the asshole, but not for the reasons you are thinking. Hear me out. Your reasons for making the choices you made make sense. I get it. Don't leave your wife at home alone with a newborn, and having the baby in the closer room theoretically makes perfect sense, but only for you and your wife, not for Harper. Imagine how she feels. There is this other human she probably is very threatened of, but you've done little to not little to nothing to fix that except make changes and have disrupted her life for the worse. I seriously suggest you let her cool off for a while and make some attitude adjustments and relationship changes. You can't have two days away, but one day a week doesn't sound bad. Let her keep the room, give baby the further room, and maybe use baby monitors. Also, remind Harper that she means what she means to you. She is just as important as Mark. Yeah. Great comment. And uh we have an update. Oh, here is the update that I promised. I realize I've messed up, so I went to my brother's home and tried to get Harper back, but he didn't even let me see her, saying she doesn't want to see me. He said he would only let her go back if, one, she wanted to go with me. Two, we moved to another home close to their home because they wanted to have Harper close to them to keep an eye on her and make sure we are uh treating her right. We used to live very close to them, but when I got married, my wife and family didn't get along. So we moved somewhere farther away, which made Harper very sad. I don't like that. I don't either. At all. Three, Harper will get to choose which bedroom she wants in our new home. And four, I should spend one on one time with Harper at least one day a week. It's not hard to accommodate. Which I accepted. This caused a lot of problems since my wife doesn't like some of those conditions. Too fucking bad. She thinks they are not reasonable. Suck a dick. She got angry, took Mark, and went to her parents' home and is staying there. So now I'm also receiving texts from my in-laws calling me an asshole. I'm sorry, but your wife seems like she hates your child, doesn't like your family, and is trying to isolate you from everyone on like your family side. Like the second you got with your wife, it's like, no, I don't like your family, so let's move away. Which in tune made Harper sad, but she didn't give a fuck because she doesn't even like Harper. So now having her move out and live with your brother, she's probably like, oh my God, yes, she's finally out of the house. I don't have to deal with it. And we can just go and live our lives together. That's what she's giving. Because the fact that these are all reasonable fucking requests. All of them. Moving, moving is gonna be a little bit tricky, honestly, but it depends on your budget and whatever. Yeah. And you know, your means to be able to buy a house. Um, but all of the other ones are very easy, very easy, very reasonable. Okay. Anyways. Right now, I'm looking for a new home that is closer to my brother's home. I called Harper and my brother convinced her to talk to me for once. She was crying the whole time while telling me that she felt like I didn't want her anymore. Hearing her cry like that really broke me, broke my heart. I honestly never meant to hurt her. After so many apologies and gifts, she finally agreed to see me. I will go to my brother's home every day to spend time with her. She also finally agreed to come home with me when I find a new home. Good. I am so glad. Honestly.
SPEAKER_00At first, I was like, wow, the brother's making a lot of demands, but then he was like, My wife doesn't like. I was like, oh, yeah. Never mind. I get it.
SPEAKER_03But the thing is, like, the demands are pretty like reasonable. The how the house one, like I said, is a little bit trickier, but they're all reasonable and accommodating. Yeah. The fact that you get a new baby with a new wife, and you just exclude your child and everyone on your family side shows a lot of red flags. Yeah. And then she's easily quick to be like, all right, while I'm grabbing the baby and leaving with to my parents' house. Yeah. Because you're not doing what I want you to do. Yeah. You're doing what you your daughter wants. Like, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Also, like be an adult. You probably shouldn't be with someone that doesn't like your family. Honestly. I don't know about that. I mean, hey. I mean, I know it happens. It does. Sometimes it can't tell at first. Sometimes they, you know, hide their true feelings for a while.
SPEAKER_03They definitely show their true masks after the fact. Yeah, a lot of people do that. So I get it.
SPEAKER_00Man. Well, I'm glad he's rekindling that relationship.
SPEAKER_03Honestly, I'm glad too. She she needs it. She needs at least one of her parents to fucking care about her.
SPEAKER_00Seriously.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Um, all right. Mine's kind of a long one. Let's go for it. Um I the asshole for telling people my brother's private story to try to save my reputation. Off the bat, any you like quotations, private story. That's what it is. It's in quotations. Okay. Read that to me again. Am I the asshole for telling people my brother's private story to try to save my reputation? Try to save my reputation.
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna go and not the asshole. Okay. And then I'll probably feel like. No, fuck that.
SPEAKER_00No. Okay. This was posted six years ago. Um, this happened to me like eight months ago, but has been weighing on me. I've always been a lurker here, so I made an account to see what others think. My brother Tim isn't technically my brother. He's my cousin. My parents became his guardians when he was three, then eventually adopted him. He and I are four months apart in age, and we grew up very close. We were best friends. He's gay and felt comfortable coming out to me when we were 12-ish, our parents a little while later, and then to everyone on his 16th birthday. Um, the OP is a woman, by the way. Okay. Fast forward to last year, his biological father Ray reached out to him and they met for lunch after not seeing or talking for 25 plus years. When I asked him how it went, he didn't want to talk about it. So I let it go, figuring he would open up when he was ready. Within a week, I started hearing from family that Tim had told Ray that Tim and I had been having an illicit affair for years. After after asking Tim about it, he said Ray asked him if he was gay and he panicked. That's the lie he blurred out to try to hide being gay for some reason. Somehow the lie made it to our friends. We they were horrified and angry and wanted to know if it was true. I explained to them what happened with Ray and why Tim said that. They got it and felt bad and apologized for coming at me so aggressively. Tim was furious that I told them the truth and said I was the most selfish evil person for telling them his private story. Our parents said they understood why I did it, but said I shouldn't have. I'm still upset he said the lie in the first place. Am I the asshole? Edit for how my friends found out about this. My parents have a large group of friends and they've all known each other since um they were in their early 20s or so. Ray was in that friend group. Some of my friends are the children of the parents' friends. Uh, Ray came back into town for the first time in a while and decided to reconnect. He told one of those friends, and the lie spread down to one of my friends. So that's how they found out. Edit number two, just because there's been some confusion, I realize the story is twisted and difficult to follow. I didn't out him to my friends. They already knew he was gay. Okay. Private story, his phrase, not mine, was that I told him about the conversation he had with his biological dad. He said I should have told him it was a joke that didn't land or that his biological dad is crazy, which I didn't think of at the time, and I don't like lying to my friends.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Yeah, not the asshole. I personally don't think you're the asshole. I first was gonna say yes, you're the asshole for outing to your friends. Yeah, because that's not your story to tell, right? They don't want people to know, but if they already knew, yeah, you're not the asshole. Such a weird lie to come up with. Honestly.
SPEAKER_00Oh, we're having an affair. What we're I'm incestual with my sister cousins.
SPEAKER_03We're having we're having an affair and I'm fucking my sister cousins. Like, well, weird, like weird. Like, why was that on your brain? Honestly, why I I you could have come up with so many different lies, but instead you came up with, oh yeah, I'm having an affair with my sister cousin. Yeah, it's yeah, no, yeah, not the asshole at all. Not the asshole for sure.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but I don't know. Um, I also said not the asshole. Um, when I first heard this title, I was like, whoa.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's why I was like, what was it? I was like, uh, but then you said quotations. I was like, yeah, not the asshole for that, but yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um some of the comments here. Um, not the asshole. He is selfish and evil to tell that kind of a lie and still refuse to set the record straight. Um sounds like a self-centered break. He owes you a huge apology and a lot of damage control. Until that happens, I would not be on good terms with this person. Not the asshole. If he was going to lie, why couldn't he just say he had a girlfriend? Or that he was, you know, just not gay. Why would he lie about sleeping with his cousin, sister? That's so weird. And to call you an evil person because you don't want people to think you're sleeping with him, super weird. Somebody said, gay here, not the asshole. Oh my god. Honestly, gay here, not the asshole at all. Um there is an update. Um the first part kind of doesn't make sense. I don't maybe in the comments there was some sort of clarifying um reply that I didn't read, but um I'll read the update. Um I forwarded the email last night, June 26th, to most of our immediate family for family members and some distant family and friends who are known to be big mouths. I'm assuming this email is clarifying everything. Okay. Um my best friend and aunt also helped out by forwarding it. I sent it in full and unedited, which is relevant because in the email he also said mean things about other people. Oh, maybe it's from Tim. Okay. For example, calling someone fat, nastily referring to someone as infertile, and making fun of someone else for being poor, which is rich considering he pays his bills by going to the bank of mom and dad. There was a lot of outrage all around to say the least. Someone pointed out to me that they believe he has narcissist narcissistic personality disorder. I've done a lot of reading about that today, and wow, yeah, he must. I also sent this thread to our parents. I wanted them to know how much their lack of support hurt me in our relationship, and that a lot of people on here commenting think they handle the situation horribly. Maybe they have a better understanding of this now, since you're all objective strangers who don't have a dog in this race. Dad did say Tim needs to get his life together, or else he'll end up just like Ray, and that he wouldn't be around to watch it happen. He also said that he doesn't think Tim will ever give me a genuine apology since he's convinced he's right and we're all wrong. Mom is convinced he's suffering from mental illness. Apparently, Tim has been behaving bizarrely lately, and at first she thought quarantine was to blame, but after reading the email, she doesn't think he's in his right mind. Could be because he lost his job under weird circumstances last year. Even so, it may explain his behavior, but in no way, shape, or form excuses it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah, definitely a narcissist. I wonder if he emailed her like you're a fat cow, and I think you're the worst person in the world.
SPEAKER_00Okay, you're so evil, and also this person is fat, and this person I saw he can't have a baby.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's intense.
SPEAKER_00It's weird.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, definitely not the asshole, especially knowing how this person's behavior is.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. The verdict obviously is not the asshole.
SPEAKER_03Okay, verdict, not the asshole. Alright, moving on. This is a hypothetical. Uh, would I be the asshole if I dropped out as a bridesmaid a week before the wedding because of what happened at the bachelorette? Oh boy. This was posted 42 days ago. Oh, so recent. So I am a bridesmaid at my friend's wedding. She just had a bachelorette party at the groom's family cabin for two nights. It started off okay, but as the attendants got more and more drunk, the racism and anti-Semitism started coming out. For context, everyone else in the wedding party is white. I am mixed Jewish and Filipina. My part of the party was to put on a tea party in the afternoon. I spent weeks hand decorating a tea set as a wedding present. Weddings are huge in my culture, and I wanted to share that joy. I bought and cooked a bunch of cultural food, but the basic stuff, even Western food people like. Lumpia baked desserts and sky flakes with cheese and meat. That sounds amazing. I, of course, checked with the bride and maid of honor beforehand and oh beforehand, and both of them would be okay, with the bride saying she loved Lumpia. I was so proud of it and it looked beautiful, all set up. But immediately some of the bridal party started making the ew ethnic food faces. One of them one of them chased around another with a sweet bun, laughing about how weird and scary it was.
SPEAKER_05Scary?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it was literally bread and cream. I sent pictures of my setup to other friends to see if it was something I did wrong, and everyone said it looked amazing. Edit to add, because I need to be precise. People did say thank you, including the bride. They said they set up the setup was very pretty. It was a reaction to the food by some of them. Family of the groom who also made the Auschwitz jokes. Oh god. Okay. That I was describing. That being said, almost nobody spoke during the tea party portion and blamed it on being tired. The bride and friends did not say anything about the reaction of the other girls. The main feedback I got as oh, is that I was clearly a witch because of my tea, because my tea put everyone to sleep. It was a hibiscus, rose, mint, and cal calamancy mix. Definitely not sleepy tea. But oh well, maybe that food isn't for them. I moved on, but then the racist jokes started. The party started on Juneteenth. You can imagine the jokes that came out of that. Then anti-Semit Semitic jokes about Holocaust camps and more. I'm just composing myself because I'm pissed off for you already. Alright, this is a direct quote. I say a lot of Nazi and Holocaust jokes for someone who isn't racist. Yeah. Okay. Wow. I was trapped on a boat with with them when this started happening. Okay, so they were on a boat before the party, I guess. So, oh damn. So you're like stuck on probably if they're all white, they're probably rich. If they're on a boat, it's probably a fancy ass like yacht or something. Yeah. Oh fuck. All right. Later that night, as I was grabbing something from a room to then leave, the main perpetrator said to someone I considered a close friend, I was worried you'd be offended by my Auschwitz jokes because you're German. That friend replied, She wasn't offended. I spoke up. Well, I might be offended because I'm Jewish. I got up to leave with my stuff. And the girl said, She's going back to Auschwitz. My friend, the bride, everyone laughed. No. I went outside and cried. They saw me from the window when they all came to eat food. Not a single one of my friends came to check on me. The vibes continued along the line, and I felt like I was in the Jewish Asian version of get out, stuck in a giant home with a bunch of racist white people. But honestly, the fear from it wasn't the worst part. It was that not a single one of my friends said anything. I then was in a four-hour car ride with one, one of said friends slash bridemaids, on the way home. She spent the last hour of it lecturing me about how she's someone who can be cordial around people she doesn't agree with, but not everyone has that skill, especially when it's personal. And that I need to put myself in other people's shoes and see that they have positive intentions and more. For context, this cabin was four hours away and I have a pretty moderate disability. I was using 110% of my energy from for this and had no energy left by the end of it. I pushed myself to extremes for these friends and the bride, and it was reciprocated with laughing at anti-Semitic jokes at my expense. The wedding is next weekend. I can barely see from the migraine I have, and my legs are struggling with walking. I don't feel it's worth it to hurt myself for someone who couldn't bother to stand up for me or even check on me after. All my friends of color agree with me, but this was my high school friend group. I grew up in a very white town, and I also feel guilty like I'm letting them down. I'm not quite sure what to do. So, Reddit, please help me out.
SPEAKER_04I'm gonna cry. Yeah. That's so sad.
SPEAKER_03That's so fucked up. So fucked sad. Get rid of your friends. They're not your friends. They are not your friends. No, you would not be the asshole. None of them. Um, you would absolutely not be the asshole. I if it was under different circumstances and you were uh trying to drop out um a week before the wedding and it was something else, I would have been like, you know what, that's kind of fucked up, try to get through it. But no, you you can just tell them to fuck off. Yes, honestly, like it you're not, you would not be the asshole at all. Literally just ghost them all. Yeah, ghost them all, just ghost them. They don't give a fuck about you. They they literally hurt you in the worst way possible and laughed at you in your face. And they can literally see you crying. The fact that they can see you crying and they're just stuffing their faces with the food that you fucking made. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that disgusts me.
SPEAKER_03Uh fucking they're they're they're not your friends at all. Wow. I do have uh I do have an update, but before we get into the update, I want to read uh the comments. So top comments, they're all terrible people. This includes your friend who is who has the audacity to lecture you on not agreeing with Nazi jokes, but laughing along and getting along with people who do. That means she knew it was wrong, but she tried trying to gaslight you into thinking you're too sensitive and wrong for feeling offended. No, you were offended because it was a goddamn offensive joke. It was racist, and so is she for going in so for going with it and condoning it. I wouldn't I would go nuclear and expose all of these racist assholes. But that's easy for me to say. You deserve better. Please believe that you deserve so much better. Post your story publicly when you drop out. Link this, be brave if you can, and stand up for yourself. No need to worry about being the bigger or better person here. Not for the bride or her Auschwitz loving friends, because there's not much you can do to make you worse than them. 100%. That's ridiculous. Oh my god. Somebody replies, I was worried you'd be offended by the Auschwitz jokes because you're German. My response would be that I'm offended by the Auschwitz jokes because I'm human. Yeah. Oh bud. Oh. Um I know there was Oh, somebody said don't send a gift. And OP says she already has the T set. Go get it back. Yes. Somebody says, break it and take it back. Yes, go get it back. Haha, JK, just walk away. It's not worth it. Spend some time with people who don't have the same morals and ideals as you. Go find your people and stick with them. I already commented, but I'll say it again. Call in sick to the wedding, at least minute, of course. Diarrhea, vomiting, who cares? No one wants that at their wedding. No further gifts, no further explanations. Just get out, save your peace. Call in sick of racism and Nazi jokes. These are the worst people ever. Ask for your T-set back and say it was a misunderstanding that this was a gift. Then cut those people out of your life, especially the bride. 100%. 100%. Alright. Alright, let's get into the edit here, which I believe is kind of an update. Um it was a history major, which makes the whole thing even worse. So I have had so I have to add context that I didn't realize I missed until comments. The friend in the car is the friend who said she was offended by the Holocaust jokes to the person she was asked by the jokester because she's German and lives in Germany. In the car, she did say that she was absolutely against the concentration camp joke and that she feels guilty, she didn't say anything. The words I'm sorry never came out of her mouth, though. But then I brought up the other stuff with the food and racist comments, and that's when she went on that tangent. She also said she saw the saw the racism, but told me in those situations you just have to ignore it and choose to not be around those people again. As she knew there there was racism happening, including towards me, and didn't say anything or check in on me. I will be choosing to not be around her again. I also told her repeatedly that I didn't want to talk about this now because I was so physically done, and she said, This is my car and I'm driving. I don't want to be uncomfortable and I have this tension here. We are talking about it. Bitch.
SPEAKER_00Talk all you want.
SPEAKER_03Go ahead. It doesn't mean I'm gonna fucking reciprocate. I have a vocal cord disorder and my speaking is limited, so I didn't say much, and I didn't want to get dropped off on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. I told her she crossed the boundary, she can't come back from the good. The people making the racist jokes were the siblings slash cousins of the groom. My friends were the ones laughing along and not saying anything. So they're both shitty people. Bride and groom. I have been long distance with these friends since high school. Oh, that sucks. The friend in the car with Me was in social justice club with me in high school. There was no. There was no signs of this behavior before from either this friend or the bride. In fact, the bride went with me to an anti-ICE fundraiser party earlier this year, and we had a lot of fun. I have never been shy with my opinions, especially as someone who studied history. This was the first time I was hanging with them around a bunch of other people. In reviewing these comments, I have realized that they may not be racist when went with me before, but didn't stop or say anything about racism when it happened, which is in fact racism. That is very, that is a very key difference. I am also more white than not. I am ethnically Jewish, but not religiously. I often don't feel like I have the right to be upset about these things because other families have gone through worse. That's something I'm working on, working to unlearn, and this was definitely some exposure therapy to that. Why didn't I say anything at the party? Because I was in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by drunk people making racist comments at me. I have survived violence before, and I know that sometimes keeping your mouth shut is what needs to happen until you're safe and in a safe space. Smart. Lastly, I would not be going to the wedding. Good. I need to get off screens because my head is killing me. But your comments and support helped me settle me emotionally. I will decide tomorrow how I will inform the bride. Girl, just ghost. Just like stop. Honestly, just ghost them. Please ghost ghost them. Because they're shitty people.
SPEAKER_00They are shitty people. And I understand being in a situation like that where you might be uncomfortable with the jokes that are being said and maybe not even comfortable enough to say something. But don't laugh along with it. Yeah. Don't go along. Like, if I was ever uncomfortable in a situation, I you can probably notice it on my face. Um I would have the bitchiest face on. Yeah. Yeah. And I've I used to be so shy and so quiet. And and then I really broke out of my shell, and I started speaking out for different things when people said it. So including to family. Yeah. Like I was like, no, no, no, no. That's wrong. You're wrong. Yeah. Um, and it doesn't have to be, I mean, if it's family, it doesn't have to be like in such a serious tone either.
SPEAKER_02Like, you can kind of bring it up a little later. It's not very funny, you know.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Um, but like I remember so vividly the first time I got like a really bad like ick from a friend. Um, we were out to eat, and it was around the time when George Floyd passed away. Okay. And they said, yeah, nobody should die like that, but and I was like, nope. There is no butt. Nope. Stop talking right now. You know what? We're done. I'm gonna finish eating and we're leaving. Um, but I was like, what?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, no.
SPEAKER_00There's no there's no other that should be a period. Yeah, that should be the end of your sentence, actually. Nobody should die like that, period. Um and I feel like I would I would speak out more now, yeah, than I would have back then. Um and like I grew up very conservative. Yeah, like I I won't lie, I'm registered Republican. Not that I'm a Republican anymore, but um it's just like I've I have learned so much through the years, or decade I should say.
SPEAKER_04We're we're very well seasoned.
SPEAKER_00Yes. I was like, wait, years more like more longer than that, I think, actually. Um so like it's changed how how I view things, and like I I don't think I would stay quiet anymore. Not at all.
SPEAKER_02No, not like and if they felt uncomfortable, then they should have said something.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, clearly they didn't give a shit and they were just you know, they're if they didn't say anything and stand up for you, then they are racist. Yeah, and they can say that they're not racist. The second they say I'm not racist, they're fucking racist. Yeah, especially if they're laughing on a long way.
SPEAKER_02I'm the racist, but no, no, no. No, no, that's it. Actually, there shouldn't be a butt there either.
SPEAKER_00No, not at all. Oh my goodness, people are terrible. That was a doozy. It really was that was a doozy story. The worst, absolute worst.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, really made me hot. I was pissed off reading it. I kept getting more and more angry as I kept writing it, reading it, and I was just like, fuck this.
SPEAKER_00These people are shit. Yeah, man. It's a lot, it really is. Man, okay, let me cool down and I'll read my next one. Um all right, are you ready? Am I the asshole for telling my girlfriend of 10 years that I'm done after years of her refusing almost everything in bed? I'm sorry, bring that back to me again. Excuse me. That's okay. Am I the asshole for telling my girlfriend of 10 years that I'm done after years of her refusing almost everything in bed?
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna say not the asshole, but I feel like I'm gonna eat my words.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Uh, throwaway. 27 male, she's 25 female, together 10 years. She moved in with me at my parents' place about two years ago. Um, sex had been declining for years and fell off a cliff when she moved in, where it's been for the last two years. Once a week, maximum. She's told me directly that more than once a week is never happening outside of rare occasions, and that I should be satisfied with that. She puts it off all week, days of not tonight, uh, usually until the last possible day. One position only. Anything else gets complicated complained about. No foreplay, no kissing, no touching beyond the minimum. She won't let me see or touch her, and won't let me go down on her at all anymore. Before that it was maybe once every three to six months. She won't do oral on me. She's said it's a disgusting practice. In ten years, it's happened twice for a minute or two. No kinks, nothing by hand, nothing outside that one act done that one way. In ten years, intercourse is the only way I've ever finished with her. Never by hand, never orally, because those things essentially don't happen. She has told me outright that even the once-a-week is something she has to force herself to do. She has only initiated barely like one or two times in two years. It is always me. What I can't square is that she finishes multiple times and still describes it that way, as she has to do it to keep me barely happy. I want to be fair here. She's allowed to not want any of this. Nobody owes anyone a sex act. My problem isn't that she says no, it's that we clearly want completely different things, and she won't acknowledge that or let me go. I've raised it many times over the last few years. It gets brushed off. When I've asked whether there's anything I can do differently, I get given a goal. And over the last two years, there have been four different ones. I've met all of them. Nothing changed afterward. The current goal is that I don't take her out on enough dates, and that's now the stated reason things are the way they are. She wants us to buy a house together and move out of my parents. I've said no, and I've said I want out of the relationship. She's responded by telling me she'd have nowhere to go and I would end up living in her she would end up living in her car. She has substantial savings and could get her own place tomorrow. She's also said she'd rather kill herself than start over. I don't think she'd actually do it, but she has this severe temper and has done questionable things before, so I can't fully dismiss it either. She says she'll change once I meet this latest goal, and she blames the whole thing on me. I'm tired. I don't believe she's going to change, and I don't think we're sexually compatible, and probably never were. I do love her, and I don't want anything bad to happen to her. I'll be honest about one more thing, because it's part of why I think I need to do this now. I've caught myself wanting a real connection with someone else. Nothing has happened, and I don't want it to. That's exactly why I'd rather end this cleanly than let it turn into something I'd actually be ashamed of. So Emma the asshole for ending 10 years over this. No, not the asshole.
SPEAKER_03Dude, she's using you for a roof over her head. Literally. Roof over her head, getting what she wants, but she you're her sugar daddy in a sense. Pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, I'm gonna take all the money from you, but I'm not gonna give you any sugar is what's going on. Yeah, you guys just you guys are definitely not compatible from the way um that he explains it. Yeah, male, female, um, the way that he explains it, and kudos for him to understanding that you know no one owes anyone anything. Because at first I was like, bro, you're asking for all this shit, and you're like, if she doesn't want to do it, she doesn't want to do it. But acknowledging the fact that you know that no one's entitled to anything and stuff like that, respect. You have respect for women. The fact that you want to get out of this before you give in to your desire to go and find somebody else, respect for that, also. You guys are definitely not compatible. She's using you, yeah, and she's manipulating you. She's a narcissist as hell, because I've dealt with that. Yeah. When, like, no, don't leave me, I'll kill myself. I fucking went through that. I lived that. Yeah. Like they're just literally using you and doing everything that they can to keep you so that way their life is easier because everything gets done for them. They get all the money that they want, they get spoiled because you have to meet every single goal, which is probably like, buy me this, buy me that, take me here, take me there, do all this for me, do all that for me, and stuff like that. You don't have to pay for any kind of rent, you have savings. So the fact that you can get your own place the next day. Yeah, literally. Not a lot of people have that. No, so you are literally using this man, and then you're saying that it's a disgusting act to have sex with him, but you guys have been together for 10 years. Just break up. Yeah, get let you you need to separate for sure. Yeah, so no, you're not the asshole. You definitely need to separate. Yeah, it's so it's so sad.
SPEAKER_00That's fucked up. You're in a sense, just using him, yeah. Um, top comment says, Everything she has said to you since you said you want to break up is toxic, manipulative, and controlling. She's using the fact that you care about her as a person against you. You care, your care is a weapon in her hands here. Please get her out. Quit engaging in the conversations. If you need a third party in the room to protect yourself and sure you get her out, then so be it. No shame in that. Only shame is giving her more opportunity to shred you mentally. Not the asshole. Please, next time see the sex stuff as a serious problem that is that it is before moving in together.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And the fact that it's not even your guys' own place, it's um your parents. Yeah. Her parents are your parents. His parents. His parents. His parents. And she's being disrespectful enough to be like, no, I'm not gonna do any of this with you. It's gross or whatever. But let me just keep living here for free. Yeah, and not have to worry about doing anything.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Somebody else was like, look up the eviction laws, because your parents would probably have to officially evict her to like kick her out. But man.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah, for sure. It's crazy. For sure. Yeah, you gotta get get get get out. Yeah. Get out now. Um, okay. Um before you start. Before I start. My phone's gonna die. Okay. Let me grab my charge. Hold on.
SPEAKER_00Let me let me actually my foot's asleep. Your foot's asleep. Let me just hop over there and get it.
SPEAKER_04Hop hop hopple over there. Hople. Hobble. That's what it's like. Hobble, yes. Hobble over there.
SPEAKER_00Oh man, what do I unplug? What? The lights and the computer there. I can't unplug either of them. I'll plug it in over there. I'll send you my last two.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Sounds good. We can just cut this part out. If you want, you want to save your last two and not just uh read two. All right, we'll pass it back and forth. I have I have plenty. I have plenty. You good, thanks. Oh my god. Okay, I'm back. All right. We're back. Brief, briefer little break. Um, all right, so let's get into the next one. Am I the asshole for not going to the wedding of my dad and his affair partner? Oh. Probably not. Not the asshole? Okay. When I was 17, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Two years later, she passed away. During these two years, my dad was not around much. He was always working and going on business trips. My aunt and grandma took care of mom. About five months after my mom's passing, my dad introduced me to his girlfriend. I was pissed. I yelled at him how quickly he moved on from mom when they decided to tell me they had been in a relationship for three years.
SPEAKER_05Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03My dad had been cheating on my mom while she was dying. His business trips were to meet his affair partner. I was so angry. I packed my stuff and left his house. I haven't spoken to him since that day. Currently, I am 25. The only family I speak to is an aunt who helped me when I left my dad's house. A few days ago, my aunt called me, asked me how I was, and then asked me if I heard from my dad. I said, Why would I hear from him again? My aunt said, Dad is getting married to his affair partner, and by going to his wedding, it would be it would help us mend our relationship. I said, Why would I do that? He is dead to me. There was silence on the phone for a bit before my dad replied, asking if that's what I felt about him. Not the freeway. Immediately cut the call when I heard his voice. I realized he was with my aunt when she made when she made the call to me. I texted my aunt telling her I asked her not to tell dad anything about me and she agreed back. Then she texted me back saying I was an asshole for saying what I said, and my dad is crushed hearing it. And that I should move on by now. I did not want to argue with someone who helped me, so I blocked her. Over the next two days, I got sent a wedding invitation to my mailbox. The only person in the family who knew my address was my aunt, and she gave my number to various members of the family. I am being bombarded with calls and texts from dad, uncles, cousins, aunts saying I should give him a chance and come to the wedding. Some calling me names for saying that for saying what I said. I got a text from the affair partner saying my dad is thinking of postponing the wedding and I should talk to him. For context, the affair partner was a friend of my mom and she knew she had cancer. I said, It's not my fault if he postpones the wedding. I don't want to have a relationship with dad or her. They are trying to force it. I got quiet, I got quiet after that. But being told by so many people from dad's side, I am an asshole, that did leave the did leave me conflicted, but I am sticking to my guns. So read it. Am I the asshole? No, not one fucking bit. Wow. Um oh my gosh. Verdict was not the asshole. Of course, obviously. Holy cow. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00No, I would want nothing.
SPEAKER_03Absolutely. You're dead. You are dead to me. Not only did I lose my mother that day, I lost my father as well. Fuck you. That's crazy. For three years, so your mother was dying. She was on her death. Your wife was on her deathbed, and you're like, all right, let me go get my dick wiped by somebody by her best friend. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Oh wow. The audacity. Also, the audacity for them to think that it would just blow over. Yeah. Like, oh, you should just be over it by now.
SPEAKER_03What the fuck? No. Only eight years. I think she said she was 17. There is literally no time for like an end date for grief at all. No. You can grief for literally the rest of your life. Yes. And you can never forgive someone for the rest of their lives. Yep. Especially with something as heinous as cheating on your wife who is dying for three years. Yeah. With her friend. And they both knew that she was dying. And just leaving her. It was like, oh, I gotta go on a work trip. No, I'm just gonna go on vacation with my with my my side piece. Bro. Seriously? Like not being there for your kid, not being there for your wife, doing what you gotta do to start your new life because they're like, oh, she's already kicked in the bucket. I'm just gonna go start a new life now.
SPEAKER_00Also, leaving your dying wife is bad, but not as bad as this. No, yeah. You could have left.
SPEAKER_03You could have just been like, I can't do this anymore. Because a lot of people do that. Sometimes when you know cancer comes into play or any type of illness comes into play, a lot of the partners tend to leave. They're like, I'm sorry, I just cannot do this. That is more it's fucked up, but it's more respectful than just ignoring her, avoiding her, and cheating at the same time. Yeah, like you willingly know that she is dying and you're gonna go and fuck her best friend, and she's gonna be fine with it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I can see the daughter coming back from him leaving, yeah. But not this. No, not at all. Stand your ground, not at all, not at all. Insane.
SPEAKER_03Like you weren't there for mom, you know. I'm sorry, I had to work to pay the medical bills. Understandable. Yep. I get that, it fucking sucks. But to leave so you can just go and have an affair. Crazy. Fucking tell me about it. All right. Top comments. Not the asshole. Your dad cheated on your mom while she was dying, and now the whole family is upset. You've calmly expressed how you feel about it by cutting your dad out and not attending the wedding. Your aunt also violated your trust by giving your contact information out with uh without your consent. I'd say cut the whole family out at this point. Honestly, true. Seriously. Because I did bypass the whole aunt thing. Yeah, that's true. Like, very true. You were there the entire time, yes. But then the second, you know, the dad steps in and is like, oh my god, can you just please reach out or whatever? Like, yeah, sure. No, you shouldn't. You should be like, no, you have to go personally reach out yourself. Figure it out yourself. Yeah. You did this, you made your bed, now lay in it. The aunt should not have crossed that line. No, because then she just fucked up the whole relationship with OP.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And it's from the sound of it, OP didn't have a relationship with any of the other family. No, aside from that aunt. Yeah. So throw the whole family away. Throw the whole family away. My goodness.
SPEAKER_03Somebody responds, that certainly would be the mature response. It is much kinder than going to a wedding, and when they ask if anyone objects, calmly explain why you object to their behavior. OP, there is no statue of limitations on feelings. You are allowed to decide how you feel, or as as long as you want to feel that way. Somebody replies, the objection thing hasn't been in any wedding I've been in the last 50 years. Never ask a question you don't want answers to. Exactly. Oh, true. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That was at my wedding.
SPEAKER_03Oh man.
SPEAKER_00All right.
SPEAKER_03GC. No, seriously. When was this posted? Do you know? Oh, somebody responds. These two built a lasting relationship during those two years that my mother was dying. I cannot imagine the comfort that those two, the two of them must have had found in one another. My mother's husband and her best friend. I truly hope that the foundation that they built for this relationship during that difficult time will have lasting implications on their life and their marriage. Congratulations to you both. That right there. That right there. That right there. I hope your sex was incredibly hot while my mother was suffering and dying. I hope it will continue to remain so even after OP gets um old and ring and wrinkled and saggy and possibly falls ill one day. Here's to the happy couple.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, go just to give a really savage speech.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, honestly. Just take one of these speeches.
SPEAKER_00They'll let you do it too with it.
SPEAKER_03Or you can crash the wedding. Yeah. There's always that option. But I mean, your mature response is actually really good. But yeah, definitely. Definitely. I guess. As unhinged. As unhinged as we want you to be. Oh man. What the fuck? What was that posted? This was posted two years ago. There was no update. Um, but we're just gonna assume that they probably did get married. Honestly. OP never showed up. Probably. And just hopefully you're living your best life without all those horrific people trying to knock on your door and just you know. We wish you nothing but the best, OP. I'm so sorry for your loss. Seriously. All right. Ready for another one?
SPEAKER_00We see the time.
SPEAKER_03Um, yeah, we have time for one more. One more, guys. Let's do it. Time for one more. Um, we can always do part two. That is very true. That is very true. Let's do one more. Okay. Oh, you want to stick on the trend of weddings? Whatever you want. Am I the asshole for leaving in the middle of a celebration because of the toast my husband gave? Oh, it's kind of similar. Let's do that. All right. I saw that one. I didn't read it, but I saw it yet. Okay, so I'm gonna read it and then we'll go with that. And then we'll it we'll we'll stop here. Sorry, guys. All right. So am I the asshole for leaving in the middle of a celebration because of the toast my husband gave? This was posted four years ago. I, female 25, married my husband, male 31, three years ago. I'm currently pregnant with our first baby together. We found out it's a girl, and my in-laws wanted to invite us for dinner for gender reveal announcement and celebration. We got there, saw many relatives coming to congratulate us and celebrate. It was bigger than expected, which made me nervous because I'm not a fan of being around many people. We sat at dinner table and I barely ate. I was feeling so much anxiety and was sort of upset. My husband didn't warn me about how many people were coming. But I tried to stay calm and collected. Anyways, after the announcement and in the middle of the celebration, my husband wanted to give a toast. He opened a bottle and poured a drink and wished that our daughter be healthy, happy, but looking nothing like me. What the everyone at the table laughed. I sat there staring in shock while he kept laughing with me. I felt so much rage and my anxiety got out of hand, not gonna lie. I got up, took my purse, and made my way out. His mom followed me asking if I was okay. I told her I just wanted to go home. He came to the door asking that, asking what was wrong. That's when we started arguing. He said that this was a joke toast and that my reaction was over the top. But the thing is, ever since I got pregnant, he kept hinting he doesn't want our daughter to look like me. He even once got up in the morning, and first thing he told me was how much he wished our daughter looked nothing like me. It hurt me while I'm already dealing with low self-esteem and anxiety. I wanted to go home, but he said I was being a baby and that I should learn to take a fucking joke. I said he made everyone laugh at me, but he defensively said it didn't warrant me to walk out of dinner and be so disrespectful to the relatives who came to celebrate and share our joy. I went home and he called me many times, telling me to get my insecurities in check before I pass them up to our daughter. He urged me to get therapy and stop acting so dramatically. Like how did how I did in front of his family? I think we're leaving dinner. Oh, I think leaving dinner wasn't the best solution, but I just got overwhelmed. Am I the asshole? No. Also, leaving dinner was perfectly fine. Yeah, I would have raged and like flipped, yeah, did do some sort of the form of flipping the table. Uh-huh. Fuck that man. Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. Fuck that man. As someone who left a marriage three years in because of incompetence, um fucking leave him. Honestly. Jeez. I'm not trying to jump quick to divorce or anything, but fucking divorce. Divorce him. The fact that he can't even give you respect and be there for you. Instead, he makes a mockery of you to the relatives that are there, and everyone laughs. Everyone. Like it's not just a one-time joke, it's a every single day joke. It's a first thing in the morning joke. Yeah. That's not a joke anymore. No, not at all. No. It's you telling me how you really fucking feel about me. And how so why are you with me if you think I'm ugly as hell? Yeah, that's never that's never been a joke. This is tell tell me I'm ugly without telling me I'm ugly. I wish our daughter doesn't look like you. Like top comment.
SPEAKER_00I forgot those comments. Oh, so um, vertical eyes, not the asshole.
SPEAKER_03Of course. Top comment. Leaving the best so leaving is the best solution, yes, and not just the dinner. Thank you. He said he has said more than once. He doesn't want his child to look like you. Then he made you a butt of a joke in public. Then he dismissed you perfectly for your perfectly normal feelings. Then he blamed you instead of apologizing. Pay attention. He had shown you exactly who he is and what he really thinks of you. Believe him, not the asshole. Damn. Somebody replies, This is absolutely spot on. He's also bullying you for the insecurities he's enforcing in you. This is abusive behavior, OP. You don't deserve it, and neither will your daughter, because your husband is 100% the kind of asshole that will make sure your daughter has similar self-esteem issues in order to control her as well. Sorry, kid, it sure is too bad you took your after your mom instead of me. You'd be so pretty if you didn't have to wear glasses, slash, didn't have brown hair, or you were thinner. Too bad you got all those jeans from your mom. Yeah. Yeah. You both deserve better than this flaming dumpster of axe body spray. Side note, what the fuck is wrong with your in-laws laughing along with this joke? I'd have to get in line to punch my brother in the throat if he had a joke like this about his pregnant wife. The first person in line would be my mom. 100%. Yeah. 100%. Exactly. A lot of people love them like you. A lot of people touch base on, like, you know, leave him. He's he's an idiot. Like, it wouldn't change. Why would it change something if um OP didn't include the info? Like, I thought maybe overweight too, especially given how certain she seems. Like, there they they think that he's just like, oh my god, she's you know, overweight. She, you know, is in a sense, you know, lost her perfect body before pregnancy and stuff like that. And he's just like coming at her for that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Insane. Also, when you're pregnant, you can become overstimulated so fast, like so much faster than you normally would if you have anxiety. So I understand, like just becoming done with the whole thing and leaving. That makes so much sense to me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, as much as we were saying, like, to fight everyone.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Um honestly do fight everyone though.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Um, I totally get just wanting to go, just like dipping. Man, that's so sad.
SPEAKER_03Oh man. This is uh here's one more comment before we end it. Um please pay attention to what people are telling you, OP. Your husband is being emotionally and psychologically abusive. He's telling you he hopes your daughter doesn't look like you when he makes a public joke that causes you to react perfectly appropriately, by the way. He tells you you need counseling before your insecurities affect your daughter. Insecurities that he has exasperated and inflamed, if not outright planted, that OP is gaslighting. Please get a book on either Audible or Kindle called Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft. It will be extremely helpful to you. One of the things he talks about in this book is that sometimes abusers don't do a thing until after they think their significant other has too much invested and would never leave. Like after engagement, marriage, but especially during after pregnant during or after pregnancy. Beyond that, please consider counseling, but for yourself, not because your husband told you to get it. Stay safe. And somebody replies, the book can come later. A divorce lawyer comes before anything, including the birth. This guy is not changing OP. He has to get away. He has OP has to get away for herself and her baby. Yeah, seriously. So yeah, OP, you are not the asshole. Does it say how far along she was? Um I'm assuming probably second trimester because they they just found out it's a girl and they went to dinner. So definitely second trimester. You still have ways to go. Probably half-baked situation. Um, but you definitely have ways, ways to go before that. I'd say separate immediately. Definitely, for sure. Get a divorce lawyer. There, this person's not gonna change. And like the one of the commenters said, they're they're gonna pretty much put all that shit onto your daughter as well. Yeah, so the way that you're feeling is how your daughter's gonna end up feeling if you stay around this man.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, for sure. You have to keep that in your head that way you don't fall back.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Do it for your kid. For your yourself as well, but for your kid as well. Yeah. Well, that was fun. People are terrible, honestly. But I love these stories. They are, they were good, but they're just all all so, so terrible. Yeah, so so terrible. Um, all right. I feel like we had a lot of not the assholes. Yes, we had a lot of not the assholes. Yeah, I think we only had one asshole, and that was the dad, which thankfully he learned his ways. Yeah. Um, and hopefully they're they're doing better. But yeah, we did have a lot of not the assholes.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03That's good though. That's okay. It's good. That's okay. Sad stories. A lot of sad stories. But maybe it is a little bit everywhere. But um, but yeah.
SPEAKER_00Maybe next time we'll have some better ones. Hopefully, we'll have some better ones.
SPEAKER_03Yes. We'll have more assholes I want to see. Verdict was mega asshole. Bright red letters.
SPEAKER_00The most biggest. Anyways, okay, thanks for joining me.
SPEAKER_03Of course. Yes, absolutely. Thank you for uh joining us again this week. Um, we hope to make your Friday that much better. Um and yeah, if you want us to cover any other uh subreddits, let us know. We're Redditors through and through. We're officially Redditors. Um but yeah, this was fun, and hopefully we'll do this again. Yes. Yeah, see you guys. All right, till next time. Bye. Bye. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_05Technical, difficult was